Show Them How it's Done

Wednesday 1/21/09 - Diana

So, I don't know if you've heard, but kids are sponges. Shocking, right? I jest, but every parent who has ever heard their toddler scream an emphatic "F%*#!" when they get frustrated knows that the small people are listening and watching and repeating and learning all the time. We're taught as parents (and humans) to lead by example: that your best course of action is to show your child how to behave, not only tell them. It stands to reason, then, that behaviors in the areas of exercise and nutrition are no different. If there is no other motivation for sticking to your healthy eating plan or getting out to the street for that jog, do it for your kids.

I have a client who began working out with me when her daughter was 18 months old. I showed mama how to do overhead presses, lunges, and push ups involving the little girl by using her as a weight or a prop. Not only did it give my client a great workout, but the kiddo began to associate the exercises with fun and bonding. Now, when you mention the word "exercise" in front of her, she throws her arms up in excitement and preparation for being hauled up to the sky for 12 reps. This is the beginning of a positive view of activity. Score.

My own daughter is a testament to the effect that healthy eating habits can have on a child. Since her father lives in Dallas, she shuttles up to visit and stay some weekends with Papa. Her father and I have major differences in our diets, and he often takes Francesca out to eat. Upon her return, she gives me thr them run down, and it usually goes something like this:
Diana: "So, how was your trip?"
Francesca: "Dad tried to give me soda, but I told him that I couldn't have it because it wasn't good for me."
Diana: "Excellent, babe!"
Francesca: "And, I told him that I couldn't have ice cream for breakfast, and I told him AGAIN that I shouldn't eat drive thru every day, even though I like the toys."
Diana: "Well done, kiddo."

Etc., Etc. What I am trying to convey is that she knows at five what is healthy for her and what is not, because I have made a point to tell her. I explain what things are, why they're good or not good, what is a sometimes food and what is an every day food. She understands that food feeds her engine, and if she wants to run clean she needs to eat clean. I know this may seem like BS and that she would eat ice cream for breakfast every day if she could, and you're probably right. But I don't let her, and I back it up with why she shouldn't, not only that she can't. She is building habits for a healthy future, as habits are nothing more than repeated patterns. We as parents set the patterns. We as parents build the habits.

Setting good examples for our young ones isn't only about what we do, but also what we say. In keeping with the fact that kids are not only watching but listening all the time, they also hear us when we say negative things about our bodies. If we call ourselves "fat", or point out our giggly bellies or our "thunder thighs", our kids are paying attention. They also learn how to view their bodies by what we say about other people: commenting on physiques that are either less or greater than ours gives our children reference points for what is right or good or attractive. Teens aren't the only ones susceptible, as body image influences are reaching younger and younger audiences all the time. So in essence, we have to watch what we say about ourselves and others.

Not only will all of this awareness benefit the children and their future perceptions of what healthy looks and sounds like, but it will also help us to stick to our goals and improve our view of our physical selves. If we keep our kids as the center point of our own goals, like we do in every other area of our lives, we're more apt to adopt lasting habits. If we're setting a good example for our kids, we'll reap the benefits too, and be healthier, happier women.